


Alois

by Rottensaint



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24239929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rottensaint/pseuds/Rottensaint
Summary: This isn’t what he had wanted or signed up for. He just didn’t want to be miserable in that village any longer. He wanted to be in a better place with Luka. Instead he was miserable in a place that he wasn’t sure was better, and all he could remember was seeing Luka’s cold, dead eyes, staring back at him as he held him tightly and wept.
Kudos: 11





	Alois

**Author's Note:**

> A/N I wrote this just as a warm-up for writing. I really love writing individual little stories as character study i guess?

> "What doesn't kill me makes me wish I was dead"-Lividity, Nicole Dollanganger

The nervousness that shifted and churned in the blonde’s stomach finally made him heave whatever he had eaten in the earlier hours of the evening, spewing violently out of his nose as tears pricked his eyes. The garden was almost haunted at night, and he could almost see the ghosts that wandered the halls out here, he could almost hear their voices too. But it was just him, nobody else, human or not, in sight. He wretched again, doubling over as tears bubbled over his eyes, running down his face. His body shook violently, as he let out a hiccup.

The smell of blooming roses and lavender soothed him as he wiped his mouth, staining his nightshirt as he sniffled. Living here was harder than he’d thought. Even with Claude, night terrors still persisted, and at times he almost forgot that his brother wasn’t with him. He’d be half asleep and roll over, feeling for Luka, before anxiety hit him hard enough that he’d bolt upright, with no younger brother in sight. It had been quite some time since then, and he hated the fact that he still thought he’d wake up with him, and they’d go on an adventure, or go swimming in the river on days where the sun was so hot that they felt like they’d dry up and die like slugs. 

Things had changed drastically after Luka died, and Alois wasn’t sure where he’d go next, but he knew that he was miserable. Nothing felt the same, and a strange numbing had taken over him. Every time he looked in the mirror, he didn’t recognize himself. He wasn't sure of who was inhabiting this body any longer, and he didn;t really care.But, if it wasn’t that it was intense mood swings, to the point that they exhausted the blonde. Functioning was an extremely tedious task that took concentration and more energy than he had at most times. He was happy nobody came to visit often, or he’d probably drop dead from working so much on keeping up an appearance. Not that it mattered anyway, but he still felt some pressure to present himself as a good noble, or someone that seemed to be of neutral standing. He wasn’t trying to make himself out to be a villain if he didn’t need to.

Dread seemed to be drowning him tonight as he sat on the cold stone bench, listening to the fountain that bubbled endlessly. In the moonlight it looked like liquid silver, and he marveled at it for a moment, taking a deep breath. Nobody was here. Nobody haunted the manor. He was the only human inhabitant. He wouldn’t feel creeping hands on him anymore, and he had a demon to watch over him. Alois let out a broken sob, as he put his face in his hands, curling his knees to his chest. This isn’t what he had wanted or signed up for. He just didn’t want to be miserable in that village any longer. He wanted to be in a better place  _ with Luka.  _ Instead he was miserable in a place that he wasn’t sure was better, and all he could remember was seeing Luka’s cold, dead eyes, staring back at him as he held him tightly and wept. He mustn’t have been dead for long when Alois had found him, because he was still warm when he picked him up. He didn’t know what was worse, the fact he didn’t get to save Luka in time, or the fact that he was  _ so close _ to it. 

But he was alone now, and the only thing that kept him here and that he clung to was the fact that Claude had saved him from an even more miserable fate. He owed him so much. The first few days, Alois had followed him around like a lost dog, clinging to him with all his might until he fell asleep. In the mornings, Claude would be sitting in the corner of his room, watching him intently. If he had slept through the night that is. If he hadn’t, Claude stood stoically, as the blonde cried into his shirt, begging him not to leave, even for a moment. If Claude left, Alois was sure he’d wither away into nothing. Claude was the only thing that kept him here, and the fact that he needed to find Ciel Phantomhive and make him pay for what his demon had done to his brother. He hadn’t felt anger fester in his chest so intensely before, and it seemed that each day it grew. It was going to swallow him whole one day, and he hoped when he went down in flames, it’d be at least pretty to watch.

“What are you doing outside dressed like this at such an hour, your highness?” Came Claude’s voice, as a jacket was draped around his shoulders. 

The blonde opened his eyes to see him standing in front of him, head tilted curiously. Moonlight cast shadows over his demon’s face that made his skin crawl. He swallowed, uncurling himself slowly.

“I couldn’t sleep and wanted to come outside to get some fresh air,” He replied softly, tucking loose hair behind his ear.

“You’ve ruined your nightgown, you’ve been sick again,” 

“I can’t stop the nightmares…” He let out a shaky breath, as he felt tears well up in his eyes again. 

He stood barefoot, stumbling. Claude caught him, and looked down at him with a frown. He never seemed to care much about him, but by contract he was bound to him, and Alois was aware of it. But still, he thought that Claude had to care a little to have found him out here.

“You need sleep,” 

Alois nodded, clinging to him as he let out another sob, before hugging him tightly. He knew he was doomed, and Claude would be the one to unravel him, but he found comfort in the fact that the creature he owed his life to, would be the one to end it. 


End file.
